Every year some really annoying geese walk into the 757. I’m not sure if they can fly because all they do is walk. They walk everywhere. Apparently it’s illegal to kill these geese. I think they know it. They walk in the middle of the street and cars are forced to stop for them. They get on my nerves. A whole troop of geese, that walk at a senior citizens pace after they have shuffled their way through molasses, decide to walk in the middle of the road. It’s longer than that last run on sentence. So guess what I do when I see em?
If you guessed “put the fear of Rob in them” then you are correct. I drive my car straight at those suckas. Dear PETA, I don’t actually hit them so please don’t protest me. I will literally drive my car right up next to them and make them shuffle their tail feathers. They don’t fly out of the way, but they do hop and wiggle their feet a wee bit faster.
When I see these animals I picture the Nintendo game Duck Hunt. Remember the dog that would laugh at you when you missed the ducks? He was annoying too. You want to know what else is annoying? The goose poo. They do it everywhere. It covers parking lots and hides in the grass so you don’t know that you’ve stepped on it until it’s too late. I hate these vile creatures. They walk around this earth with no fear.
Deuteronomy 10:20 “Fear the LORD your God and serve him. Hold fast to him and take your oaths in his name.”
If you do a search in the Bible for “Fear God” you will find a lot of verses that tell us that we should fear Him. I don’t like the idea of fearing my creator. It doesn’t sound very fatherly at first. I think this fear is a deep awe or respect. But I also think that it’s more than that.
Exodus 20:20 Moses said to the people, “Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning.”
The fear of God can keep us from sinning. As a kid I had a healthy fear of my dad. I wasn’t afraid when he came home. I loved it. I would run to the door and give him a hug. But when I did something bad I did fear my dad. I feared that he would find out and that I would let him down. I feared that I would get punished. There were times when I didn’t do something bad because I didn’t want to get into trouble. My dad is incredibly loving! Some have said he’s the nicest man ever to live. He’s loving but when I made poor choices I feared my dad. I think it’s the same thing with God. God is full of grace and love. God is incredibly patient with us. At the same time God is God and we are told to have a healthy fear of him. Too many people walk around like those silly geese. They have no fear. They live however they want and then are shocked when their choices produce consequences. I don’t want to be like those stupid geese!
Have you experienced the vile geese with no fear? What do you think about the idea of fearing God?
This must be robshep.com because I was reading in one sentence about vile geese and their poo and the very next sentence was a lesson about God! Awesome.
Thanks Daniel. You have put up with a lot of posts that featured poo. Thank you for sticking around.
Vile geese…Yes, in Midland we were chased by one at a local park. It actually was scary. We should fear God and it should be an awe inspired fear.
You were chased by one? How did you get away?
I once lived in a small town where someone was fined for running over geese. He gunned it around the corner. They and their droppings were everywhere. It was disgusting until one man took the bull by the horns and began pestering the town to get rid of them. Stop feeding them. Stop pandering to them. Start relocating. Start killing them off. BTW: the driver was fined $500/geese. He killed 4 of them. As for me: I hate being driven by fear of any kind. I prefer to have a healthy respect for God. Good thought today Rob.
Thanks Bill. How did he get caught? I could take out a flock of em and nobody would know?
Oh, I know these geese. We call them Canadian geese, with their black necks and brown feathers. When I worked security at a mall in the Chicago area, we had to protect them when they nested on the mall property. Each year, one goose and gander chose a spot right by one of the mall entry doors. We had to close the area off with signs saying “Beware: Geese Nesting” That blasted gander would sit on top of the roof and watch you and you got too close he’d dive bomb you. Real quick, I no longer feared them. I learned that if you charge at them making loud noises and clapping your hands they fly away (yes, actually fly) you might look stupid doing it but it got rid of them in a hurry.
As for fearing God, I like how you talk about not wanting to let God down and disappoint him. That is a great way of looking at it from a child’s point of view with a childlike faith. I might have to borrow that for a sermon illustration down the road.
Borrow away. I bet you will do a lot more with it then what I came up with. Your gifted like that.
Rob, I haven’t read this yet. But I will.
But I wanted to let you know that you won a copy of Jesus and the Bachelorette. Did you know that Firefox spellcheck doesn’t like the word “Bachelorette”? It also doesn’t like spellcheck to be one word. I’m ignoring it all.
Joseph, you are funny. I tweeted you back and I tweeted Knox. Thanks! Oh and I read your blog today I just didn’t comment.
I like this post! Because I hate those geese.
Thanks Sean. Is it illegal to feed em…you know alcka-seltzer?
Our church is doing a series from Francis Chan titled “Basic” and the first session dealt with the very issue of “Fearing God.” I’m all for it!
I just got that. I haven’t watched it yet but I plan on it. Looks great!
Yes, when I lived in Fayetteville NC, those geese were everywhere! It is crazy amazing at how patient God is with us. I have no clue what humanity would do if he wasn’t.
Oh and on a side note, just got back from the ultrasound…
ITS GONNA BE ANOTHER BOY!!!!!!!
Joseph, congrats! That’s exciting.
It’s a Canadian conspiracy, maybe some of your Canadian readers can fill us in on how it works, but I think they do something twisted to those geese in the summer, like make them watch hockey and speak french, then run them out of the country into the US where the geese rein vengeance upon us in the form of slow walking and poo.
As for fearing God, there seems to be this mad tension between justice and mercy, love and fear…but one of God’s awesome skills is embodying so many things that we might think are contradictory but are really complementary in God’s crazy perfect way.
I will have to ask Leanne & Mandie about the Canadian theory. Thanks for the comment.
Our beloved Canadian geese are doing what cops and guns are unable to do: slow down traffic. See? They’re God’s Canadian ambassadors, making people slow down and practice anger management (or how well their brakes work).
The geese also could be annoyed at the inconvenient border crossings. I’ve sat in my fair share of line ups at the 49th parallel and I’m tempted to stage my own s(h)it in.
As a side note: a sling shot with ice cubes = no evidence. Not that I’d know.
O(h) Canada!
Leanne, that comment was fabulous! Thank you!
You know what…I wish we were using them as a weapon to anger you guys. They do just as much pooping and standing and terrifying people here as they do there, from what I understand.
Leanne, I’m going to go buy a slingshot.
Interesting. So it’s not a conspiracy after all.
Dear Canada,
We love your bacon, cheese, beer, Saskatoon syrup, and your hockey.
Please stop exporting your geese!
Love,
America
PS This reminds me of Ecclesiastes: Solomon slings the poo on life, and throws down with: “Fear God, and keep His commands.” Thanks for the good word, Rob!
RandomlyChad, amazing comment! I just read Ecclesiastes. Good stuff.
Isn’t “there is a time for Canadian geese” in Ecclesiastes too? (By the way, someday I’ll have an avatar on this site…but since most of my wardrobe is gray and black, maybe this is as good as it gets!)