I have one month under my belt as a dad of twins. My kids are awesome, but my kids are babies. Babies cry. Babies cry when something is wrong. They cry when they are hungry. They cry when they are bored. They cry when San Antonio Spurs are on TV. At least my kids do. It has nothing to do with being a HUGE Lakers fan, but I think my twins really hate the Spurs. I was trying to watch their game the other night and my son hulked out. The only thing that seemed to calm him was turning the channel. True story.
Thanks to a bumper sticker I know that you Never Shake A Baby Never Never Never. So with shaking being out (sense the satire) I have had to come up with some creative ways to stop my twins from crying. I may or may not have tried all of the below…
- The baby whisperer. I was one time at a family member’s house and they had The Pet Whisperer on their TV. I would rather flush money down the toilet then own a pet so I don’t visit this channel. Since it was their house I was stuck watching it. What I saw was some dude who would whisper to dogs to get them to obey. How does this apply to babies? Well, one of the first times my kids started crying I started whispering. It worked. My wife now calls me the baby whisperer.
- The car seat. The car seat should be renamed magic. For some reason putting a baby in a car seat magically makes them stop crying…at least for a short while.
- The car ride. Something amazing takes place when a crying baby is placed in the magic car seat and then driven around. It’s called silence. As a parent of newborn twins I don’t hear a lot of silence…except when we drive around with them in the car seat. I have some friends who told me they did this late at night because they couldn’t get their son to stop crying.
- The Justin Bieber. Now the magic car seat and driving work wonders unless your baby is hungry. We found this out when we left a friend’s house around a feeding time. The twins were sleeping and we thought we could make it home before they woke. Plus we had the advantage of the magic car seat and the car ride. Boy were we wrong. About .5 seconds after getting in the car my son, Hayden, woke up. We made the parental decision to speed home to feed him instead of stopping on the side of the road. I tried playing multiple songs but nothing helped…until Bieber. Justin Bieber came on and we got silence.
- The blasting radio. If the magic car seat and the car ride aren’t working and you don’t have any Bieber then you can try blasting the radio. I’m not sure it really helps them to stop crying but it does make it more tolerable.
- The barking like a dog. I think this scares them, but it does stop the crying for a few seconds.
- The scream. This is similar to the barking like a dog but it involves you out screaming them. I don’t recommend this if you have neighbors. Or if you spouse is sleeping.
- The hand under the head. For some reason placing my hand underneath my son’s head while he lies in his crib has stopped him from crying, and caused him to pass out into a deep sleep. It is funny to watch.
- The windmill. My brother invented this technique in a late night of desperation. This is where you old the baby high in the air and then lower them making a circular motion. It worked so he taught it to me.
- The mysterious twin switch. One day one of the twins was crying like her dog just died. We don’t own a dog so I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. I decided to sit her in the crib next to her brother. A funny thing happened. He looked at her, paused, and then started crying. She mysteriously stopped crying. This didn’t really help my problem because now I had a different baby crying.
- The calling on the name of Jesus. I may or may not have said in a Biblical tone “in the name of Jesus stop crying.” The results have been mixed on this one.
So if you are a parent, a babysitter, or have just spent some time trying to sooth a crying baby then what inventive ways have you used to make a baby stop crying?
The barking like a dog is creative. I liked that one.
Being taught the swaddle was the big one for us with our babies. It seemed to work magic. Plus we didn't have the Bieber.
when i worked at a daycare we had to get all babies and toddlers to sleep we would rub their heads always and it put straight to sleep , my now three year old who still sleeps in a boppy pillow and listen every day at nap and night to a baby sound machine if you gget them started it awesome music at night and nap while tehy sleep and it has a light that goes on wall make sure to get the one that plugs in … we even take to hotel… she also had acid reflux when she was little and this seem to help… cause they can be a bit crankier tahn normal .. and if all fells put on a radio station and just start singing …..now she is three and the car ride is loud always no naps in car anymore lol so enjoy the quiet ride ….
We did the bounce…. on a big exercise ball…. not violent jumping around. One of my babies was a SCREAMER, I mean from 10pm-4AM, every day, without fail… we had to do very dramatic squats to get some quiet…. probably similar to the windmill. Good luck!!!
I love this list that you may or may not have actually used at one time or another. Here's another trick. Try going on vacation and leaving the babies behind. Or send them on a cruise while you stay home. What about telling them that when they are in your house, they must obey your rules, and one of those rules is no weeping? Other than these, I got nothing.
Believe me when I say I've thought about the cruise thing.
Thanks Kim.
We have a bobby pillow, but I haven't tried that yet. Thanks for adding to the list.
Thanks Chase. I feel bad for you that you didn't have Bieber. That Canadian is baby gold.
Put the car seat (with the baby in it) on the washing machine during spin cycle. DO NOT leave it unattended though, it would vibrate right off.
Car seats and rides are indeed magical. Once upon a time I actually would do a nightly cruise around the block with talk radio on. When that didn't work I began strapping the car seat to the couch and sitting there like we were going somewhere.
Hair dryers work wonders too.
Reed used to kiss Anna's top lip to put her to sleep. Not sure why but it worked every time AND it was super cute to watch.
If it's gas that is causing crying, we played touch your nose to your toes and made silly faces and said it in a pretty high pitch. Anna stopped crying after farting some…and we were good to go!
i laughed out loud at the "in the name of Jesus" technique 🙂 i will keep that one in mind.
Yes! The blasting radio used to work for me, too. Try the vacuum. Same effect!
Car rides are magic. It will be worth the cost of paying for gas. I also recommend holding the baby while you're vacuuming the house.
Hahah…this is pretty funny. Car rides do work wonders, and our kids actually slept in their carseats, set on the floor by our bed, sometimes.
A baby swing was our life saver!
Hilarious. We called the car seat "The Magic Chair." I could rock it with my feet.
Also, to simulate a car ride, put the car seat on top of the dryer and turn it on.
Likely a good idea to make sure baby doesn't fall off though.
Thanks Leanne. We will have to try the dryer. I think I can close the sliding door and it will hold them on top of the dryer. Wait, is that bad? I kid, I kid.
Our kids don't really like the swing yet. I think it has to do with the fact that they can't hold their head up.
Nice. That car seat is amazing! I wish I had one for adults for those nights where I just can't sleep.
Amy, I hadn't heard this one. I'll have to try it. Although it only works if one of ours is crying because I can't hold two and vacuum.
Will do. Do I actually have to vacuum or can I just turn it on?
Shannon, I can teach you how to say it in a Biblical tone.
Toni, farts work wonders. We have fart drops that seem to help.
Talk radio might would put me to sleep. The couch part of your comment was really funny.
What if I can close the door to hold them in there? I kid, I kid.
A couple that we did was the car seat combined with a dramatic swinging motion. I also gently rubbed their foreheads & still do that sometimes at the MDO I work at. And of course the paci is my favorite!!!
Lori, I have mastered that move. It's very helpful.
Charlie used to cry in the car a lot and so we would play his Raffi c.d. It's a bunch of little kid songs and it would quiet him immediately. It didn't work when we tried to sing them but there was something special about Raffi's voice. I also do the dramatic car seat swing for Jack.
Julie, Raffi you say? Where do I find this CD?
laughed OUT LOUD at the barking like a dog. HILARIOUS!
taylor swift was my justin bieber for david. worked every time.
there's a book about the 5 s's. http://www.babyslumber.com/happiestbaby.html GET THIS BOOK. it works. for real. swaddling, side, shhhing, swinging, sucking…seriously saved my life with david.
another thing that helps–getting someone else to watch the babies and you leave. amazingly enough, they don't sound as loud from a restaurant a few miles away!
Put them in the bathroom and turn on the shower. If that's not enough, take the vacuum cleaner in there also and turn it on. Works everytime…mom 26yrs
Kelly Miller