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Puffs On The Floor

February 23, 2012 in robshep.com with 6 Comments

My kitchen has Puffs all over the floor. Puffs are crunchy bites of air that we feed our twins. My daughter for some reason likes to store them like a chipmunk on the side of her highchair. Every time we move it puffs come raining down onto the kitchen floor like a rapper with a lot of money.  If she could talk I think she would yell, “MAKE IT RAIN!” Okay that might be a slight exaggeration but there are currently 4 Puffs on my kitchen floor.

There are Puffs on the floor and this is what I asked for.

For six years my wife and I prayed for kids. Now that we have them we try to not complain about the things that come with having kids. You know? Staining our carpet with throw up two days before we have a showing to try to sell our house, poop, jacking up our sleep, poop, and throwing Puffs on the floor.

I know that I said poop twice but I have twins so we have double the amount of dookie that we have to clean.

It’s easy to complain about God’s blessings. Married people complain about being married even though marriage is a gift from God. Single people complain about being single even though singleness is a gift from God. It’s a gift because according to the Bible you have more time to dedicate to God when you are single. People complain about their jobs even though having a paycheck is a gift from God. I could complain about the Puffs on the floor but they are my gift from God.

Philippians 2:14-15 Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe.

When we complain about the things that God has given us it’s a direct reflection of our ungratefulness to Him.

What’s something that you are grateful to God for?

The Isle Of Man Interview

February 22, 2012 in robshep.com with 19 Comments

Kevin Haggerty’s blog, The Isle of Man, has come on like whirl wind. It’s literally taking over the entire world wide web. If you don’t know him then check him out…

The image that came up when I Googled Kevin Haggerty

On almost a weekly basis he holds great interviews with other bloggers. I was honored when Kevin asked to interview me. We talked about my twins, DC Talk, and our band from when we were in high school. I’d love to have you click here and check out the interview.

I Can’t Support That: Generic Products Edition

February 21, 2012 in I Can't Support That, robshep.com with 43 Comments

I tend to challenge the process. I see things and start asking questions about why things are the way that they are. That has led me to a series that I like to call “I Can’t Support That.”

I understand the desire to save a buck. I’m thankful that there are less expensive products that try to taste like the real thing. I’m thankful for the idea but not for the names. Come on man. You can do better than…

  • Seriously? Dr. Perky sounds like a porno. I’ve never watched one but I don’t have to in order to know that I just can’t support this name.
  • Okay I have to admit that I actually like the taste of the Spooners, but the name has to go. The only spooning that should happen is between man and wife. And what is with the Kangaroo as the mascot. I hope they don’t consider that baby to be spooning with his mother. Too much spooning = I just can’t support that.
  • I actually respect this name but I can’t support this because it’s trying to rip off the greatest soda in the history of the world. For that I just can’t support it.
  • This should be illegal. That mascot looks like he’s strung out on crack cocaine and Confruity is a made up word. For that I just can’t support this.
  • I can’t believe how bad of a rip off this is from I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter. Valiant effort but I still can’t support this.
  • I can’t support Spam so generic Spam is something that I definitely just can’t support.
  • This is a rip off of Butt Paste. It’s actually a more politically correct name for a product. I’m on the verge of supporting this but I wish it was called Tooshie Paste. Because it’s not I just can’t support that.

What are some other generic products that you just can’t support?

Mind Dump

February 20, 2012 in Mind Dump, robshep.com with 40 Comments

My brain is constipated with random thoughts. It’s time to free up some space with another Mind Dump…

  • I’ve missed you. Last week I took the week off from blogging to focus on planting a church. I had some great guest posts. I hope you checked them out and then went to visit their blogs.
  • Because I was off I have an extra lot to Mind Dump about.
  • Today is President’s Day. I’m not even sure what that means. All I know is that furniture stores love to give sales on President’s Day. Their commercials usually include George Washington and Abe Lincoln. Do you think Obama gets to take the day off today?
  • I read a little blurb about the new movie Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter. The fact that he kills vampires already makes it a win in my book. I can’t take any more sparkling Emo vampires.
  • We watched the Grammy’s last week. In case you missed it I tweeted the following thoughts…
  • I like Taylor Swift’s music and if you make fun of me then all you’ll ever be is mean. She put on a great performance at the Grammy’s.
  • Adele better keep getting dumped. Her broken heart = great songs. Look what happened to Alanis Morissette when she got over Uncle Joey.
  • I’m convinced that yelling is a gift from God. It just makes you feel better. When you stub your toe yelling makes you feel better. When you are really angry because someone in another car can’t drive, yelling makes you feel better. When you are cold yelling makes you feel better. When I’m tired from jogging but still have a long way to go…yelling makes me feel better.
  • The other day I was jogging five miles and it was killing me. I let out some good old fashion yells and I made it through. I’m glad that no one else was around because they would have thought that I was out of my mind.
  • Oh and when the water from the shower hits your nips and they are jacked because of jogging…yelling makes em feel better.
  • Valentine’s Day was last week. My wife and I take turns planning V-Day. It was my year this year. I bought her roses, the New Twilight movie and I had this made for her…
  • I found something like it on Etsy. They wanted a lot of money for it. I’m currently so poor I can’t pay attention. Lucky for me I’ve got really talented friends. My good friend made this for me to give to Monica. She did an amazing job!
  • It’s a dry erase board where I can write a different message to let my wife know why I love her. She’s amazing!
  • My wife got a bunch of candy from her fourth grade class for Valentine’s Day. Included in that was my least favorite candy in the world. I don’t like Tootsie Dookie Rolls. They just look like a turd.
  • On Valentine’s Day I was getting out of the shower when I noticed one of my wife’s hairs from her head on the shower wall. I didn’t know if this was sweet or gag nasty…
  • It kind of looks like a heart. Don’t you think?
  • My kids hate the vacuum cleaner. I’m talking about they hate it with a fiery passion. I’m talking about they start screaming their faces off whenever we pull it out of the closet. There is so much weeping and gnashing of gums that you’d think that they actually think it’s going to hurt them.
  • My kids are cool! They can now play catch. Monica taught them to roll the ball back and forth to each other. It’s really cute.
  • My friend Stacy started a blog. You should check it out here. She’s one of the kindest people that Monica and I know.
  • I love the movie Super 8. It has everything that I love about movies. Great acting, a good story, and memorable dialogue. My favorite line is “Bad things happen but you can still live.”
  • It’s amazing to me how bad I am at children’s songs. I start off strong but I end up jacking up 99% of the lyrics. Lucky for me my wife knows every lyric to every kids song ever.
  • Is this a big seller at the grocery store?
  • I found this at Farm Fresh. It looks like something out of Aliens.
  • I bought a new phone. After owning a Droid I can say that the iPhone is far superior to the Droid.
  • When Michael Jackson wrote Black or White he didn’t know about the iPhone. I felt a lot of pressure picking a color.
  • I went with black.
  • I wish that planting a church was as easy as collecting followers on Pinterest. I asked my wife for an invite so I could look up some Valentine’s ideas. I’ve never pinned anything. I don’t have a fat clue how Pinterest even works and yet I’ve got followers and I’m following people. Do what? How am I following people if I’ve never asked to follow anyone. My Pinterest account is growing rapidly and I’ve done nothing. Like I said I wish planting a church was as easy as being on Pinterest.
  • Whitney Houston was a phenomenal talent! She lived a tragic life. As soon as my wife and I heard the news my wife started blasting Whitney’s greatest hits. Before you know it we were watching this…
  • I still like that movie.
  • Now whether or not you liked Whitney’s music I hope you feel the sadness in her death. She’s another example of how the Thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy. That’s what the Bible says Satan does and it was evident that he stole, killed, and destroyed a phenomenal talent.
  • The Walking Dead is back. Nuff said.
  • In order to save money we downgraded our cable. I no longer have ESPN but I get scrambled ESPN. Should I feel dirty watching it?
  • I asked my wife what we were going to do and she said “the same thing we do every night.” To which I responded “try to take over the world.” Then she says, “I hated that show.” DO WHAT!?
  • I loved the Animaniacs and I loved Pinky and the Brain!
  • I wish advertising wasn’t so dishonest. They will do anything to sell a product. Case in point…
  • I saw a commercial for The Journey 2: The Mysterious Island and it said that “critics can’t get enough.” Really? REALLY?
  • I took my wife to see The Vow for V-Day. I haven’t had a chance to review it yet. I hope to get to soon. I also saw the Grey. I haven’t reviewed that one either. I miss writing movie reviews.
  • What’s the last movie that you’ve seen?

Whew…I feel better now.

My Second Week Of Church Planting

February 18, 2012 in robshep.com with 27 Comments

My second week of church planting was just as adventurous as the first. Here are some thoughts so far…

  • Monday started with not one but two sick babies. I work from home and normally they are with my sister in law on Mondays. Well Hayden started coughing so bad that Monica picked him up. He decided to bless her by throwing up all over her arm. I jumped up but I had no idea what to do. She tells me to take him and as soon as I pick him up he starts spewing like something out of the Exorcist movie. It resulted in this…
  • So my next adventure was trying to clean up six feet of baby puke. Oh he continued to puke in the kitchen but most of that made it on his tray in his high chair.
  • We took the babies to the doctor at 1:30 on Monday and the doctor said, “no more monkey’s jumping on the bed.” Oops. Wrong story. The doctor said that it was just a cold and that we had to wait 7 to 10 days for it to clear up.
  • Well that night Reese decided that it wasn’t fair for Hayden to do something that she didn’t. She started coughing very loudly and before you know it this happened…
  • Monica was really smart though. Since Hayden destroyed our carpet for the rest of the day Monica fed the twins food that was white in color.
  • That was all of day one. I got a little bit of work done but not everything that I needed to.
  • Day two I decided that I needed to work somewhere else to make sure I got work done. I went to my parents house which was a really good idea at first. They provided Chipotle for lunch! When I went upstairs to work I asked them what the password was for their wi-fi? They don’t use it because they have a desktop computer and my brother in-law set it up. So…they didn’t know the password. I was making some great guesses when I decided to text my sister to see if she knew the password. When I picked up my phone it went Satanic. It asked me to enter a password. I did. It didn’t like my password so it decided to delete all of my emails and phone numbers. I quickly forgot about trying to hack into my parents wi-fi and I decided to spend the rest of my afternoon at Best Buy seeking help with my phone.
  • They fixed my phone. Apparently it was a problem with Google mail. It did take about an hour for all of my numbers to load back into my phone. Multiple close friends texted me during this time and didn’t understand why I didn’t have a fat clue who they were.
  • Wednesday was a lot less adventure filled. I worked at my parents house again but this time I had the wi-fi code.
  • People wonder what I work on all day. Well…it’s a lot of meetings with people to become an official church, to rent space, to raise funds, and to answer questions. I also have to plan out our interest meetings which include finding childcare. There is definitely more work than there is time.
  • I am not the best with admin. Thankfully God provided someone for me. She’s wicked awesome! She’s helping me get organized and she has created our database. That’s HUGE!
  • I became Incorporated this week! I think that means that in the eyes of the state I have an official church. Up to this point I was an almost official church.
  • I purchased insurance for the church!
  • Two weeks in and we’ve been really blessed. Someone donated offering envelopes for us, we got a church to sponsor us (thanks Eric Ashley), and someone donated an iPad. I’m blown away by God’s blessings.
  • Our first interest meeting went really well. It was last Sunday.
  • From here we will hold vision meetings to paint the picture of what this thing is going to become.
  • It’s refreshing to know how many people are praying for me and this church. It excites me to know that God is stirring in people to pray for this!

Daddy’s Got You: Guest Post By Ricky Anderson

February 17, 2012 in Guest Post, robshep.com with 25 Comments

I’ve missed you this week. I’ve been working hard planting a new church. Thankfully my good internet friends have been here to fill in for me. Next up is Ricky Anderson.

Ricky is an IT guy who has it. He’s funny, (I mean this in an incredibly platonic way) good looking, and for one day a year my internet arch nemesis.  On days when we are not battling it out he’s one of my favorite people on the internet. Enjoy…

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Sometimes my son doesn’t get it.

Granted, he’s only 6 months old, but you’d think that would be long enough for him to recognize patterns.
And to be fair, he usually does. He knows that I’ll change him and feed him first thing in the morning when he wakes up.
But sometimes he forgets. And when he forgets, he flips out.
I’ll hear him crying at night. I’ll get up and go to his room.
I reach in and pick him up out of his crib. His cries turn to screams. He kicks and flails.
If he could talk, I imagine it would be something like this:
“DAD! I had a bad dream and then pooped myself!”
“I know, son. It’s ok. I’ll get you cleaned up.”
“BUT I AM SO MESSY AND SCARED!”
“I know. I’ll get you cleaned up.”
“THE MONSTERS ARE TRYING TO EAT ME AND MY DIAPER IS SQUISHY!”
“I won’t let the monsters get you. Calm down, son. Daddy’s got you.”
How often do I mess things up?
How often do I find myself in a scary spot in life?
How often has God let me down? How often has He deserted me?
Granted, I’ve only been here 31 years, but you’d think that would belong enough for me to recognize patterns…
“It’s ok, son. Daddy’s got you.”

When have you panicked and thought God wouldn’t rescue you?

Mind Dump: A Guest Post by Joe Knight

February 16, 2012 in Guest Post, robshep.com with 18 Comments

This week is extra busy for me so I asked some of my internet friends to fill in for me. Planting a church takes a lot of time, so thankfully I have some friends who are willing take up my slack. Next up is Joe Knight.

Joe is a part time blogger, related to two of the New Kids on the Block (that’s not true), and one funny dude. Your eyes will thank you if you check out his blog. Enjoy…

___________________________________

I am glad Rob has some time off because my mind has been exploding with things I need to free from its’ chains. Time for a guest mind dump.

*Rob asked me to guest post. My first thought was…..no way, I can’t handle that. Then I realized, hey I can attempt to be funny to a larger group of readers. Then I realized I am not sure how to guest post, so we’ll see how this goes.
*Since I am a guest mind dumper, let’s starts off with a little about me and see where my mind dumps us to after that..
*First off, we should clear the air right now, I have no sense of smell. So, seriously clear the air, if I breath gas I won’t know and could die.
*My wife and I are Minnesota transplants for her to attend Seminary.
*When we meet new people we tell them I am her sugar daddy. I am working two jobs at the time being, one as an Accounting Assistant, and one in the meat department of a retail store. Neither is a passion.
*We are both originally from Missouri.
*I am a huge Mizzou Basketball fan. M-I-Z! (Now you yell Z-O-U, go ahead, I’ll wait.)
*Speaking of Mizzou it was a big week in Mizzou athletics a couple weeks ago. A basketball win at Texas, a huge recruit commitment in football and a home win against kansas. (not capitalized on purpose. I refuse to ever do such a thing to a place that is so terrible.)
*Seriously though, if you need an allegiance with a college basketball team, you should make it Mizzou. We are having a terrific year. Now is your chance to start loving the Tigers now before everyone joins the bandwagon come tournament time.
*Being in Minnesota this is the first year in I don’t even know how long I will not attend a Mizzou basketball game. It deeply saddens my heart.
*My family had a turkey fry at my brothers house the other day. Made me homesick, also they all probably got sick eating it so, it may be a good thing we are in Minnesota.
*I have a blog but I am not really a blogger, unless posting stuff I don’t even make once a week counts.
*My internet coverage is broadcast live every second of the day over at http://realjoeknight.wordpress.com/
*I average a solid 1.00001 posts per week.
*That average is bumped preemptively knowing I will post about this guest Mind Dump.
*I have played broom ball for the first time in my life this Winter. Lots of fun on the ice, I am a defensive juggernaut out there! *Broom ball needs more actual brooms though.
*I played for three straight hours on a recent church retreat. It has been a few days and I am still sore.
*Rob and I share a common love for Chipotle. I really wish my lunch I just had was Chipotle and not left over chili.
*I receive the checks at work. I opened an empty envelope today. Passive aggressively saying you won’t be paying this month, huh?
*There is a weight loss challenge going on at work with teams and everything, you had to pay to sign up…. excuse me while I enjoy my meaty food with chips and then get some candy for dessert.
*Speaking of work, someone took Friday jeans day up a notch recently when they wore their pajama jeans!
*I overheard about the pajama jeans at lunch while playing Words With Friends, hit me up for a game: realjoeknight
*Speaking of WWF, (no not the Hulk Hogan WWF), I am getting progressively worse at Words with Friends. It may be decreasing my vocabulary.
*I recently had someone tell me their friend, when little, used to picture Bob Saget when thinking about what God looked like. I asked if the Olson Twins were there too. http://www.tylertarver.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/bob-saget-olsen-twins-roast.jpg
*That photo is one Tyler Tarver once used on his blog. Found thanks to Google creepily stalking my internet history when I do image searches.
*I have seen Rob tell you before, but NeedtoBreathe is by far a superior band to all other bands. Just wanted to give a second opinion on them.
*We are going to see them in concert for my birthday this year. It will be NeedtoBreathe and Ben Rector, which will be lots of great music.
*My claim to fame: I worked with Ben Rector at Kanakuk Kamps one summer. If you don’t know of Ben’s music you should check him out. He is crazy good and only getting better.
*Speaking of crazy good, sweet potato fries are slap your momma good.
*I felt I had to use the phrase “slap your momma good” for this to be an authentic Mind Dump on robshep.com
*My mind really thinks in short quick thoughts apparently.
*It appears to just be rambling now.
*I should probably call it quits.
*Wow. I see why Rob does this now. My mind feels so freed up to think of other things now. So much space.
*Thanks for having me!

Anything that needs to get dumped from your mind today? Share away?

Oh No They Didn’t: A Guest Post By Stephen Haggerty

February 15, 2012 in Guest Post, robshep.com with 55 Comments

I’m currently working my tail off trying to not jack up planting a church. I asked for a little help from some of my internet friends so I could focus on the church this week. Next up is none other than Stephen Haggerty.

Stephen is a bearded worship leader, a part time ninja, and a great blogger. You should do yourself a solid and check out his blog. Enjoy.

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They didn’t have to say a word- I knew exactly what they were telling me.  ”Your beard- you’re going to get food stuck all in your beard,” they implied, by giving me 17 napkins for the 1 turkey sandwich I ordered at the Arby’s drive-thru. “You might even have stuff in your beard already that we don’t even know about- you greasy slob,” hinted the attendant’s polite grin as he handed me my bag.

Beardism- happens more often than I care to admit.

Of course, there’s the slim chance that I’m reading into things and that they were just being generous with their paper products.  You might even suggest that I’m being overly sensitive and that I shouldn’t worry so much about what others think.  Okay… now you’re just talking crazy. 

On this particular Friday, I wasn’t going to stand for it.  I have the right to be treated with some respect.  “Thanks- have a great weekend,” I said intimidatingly as I pulled a cheerio out of my beard.  Let’s just say I think they caught my drift.  Loud & clear.

My point is this: a lot of mornings when I’m eating cheerios, I’m already running late as is and don’t have time to see to it that every single cheerio ends up in my mouth.  My other point is this: when I’m not careful, I can get offended by some really stupid stuff.

 

A fairly accurate depiction.

What’s crazy about this, is that I claim to live based on this book called the Bible, which is full of examples of people who had every right to be offended and yet chose not to be.

Take Joseph, for example.  His brothers plotted to kill him, threw him in a pit, and sold him into slavery- which also led to him being thrown into prison for a crime he didn’t commit.  Years later, Joseph finds himself in a situation where he can set the record straight and put his brothers in their place.  He doesn’t do it.  Instead, he tells them ”it was not you who sent me here, but God.”  Instead of taking what was rightfully his, he tells them that what happened was God’s will.  That’s nuts to me.

It doesn’t stop at Joseph:

  • Job had all of his family and possessions stripped from him, and when given the chance to curse God, he blesses Him.
  • David is last to be recommended to be king by his own father, yet goes on to be one of Israel’s greatest rulers.
  • Stephen, as he’s stoned to death by the Sanhedrin, asks God to “not hold this sin against them.”
  • Jesus, as He’s being crucified, asks God to forgive those who are putting Him to death, “for they know not what they do.”

You know what I’d honestly like to do with all of these?  I’d love to just look at them as suggestions- as inspirational characters who add some flavor to a good book.  But then Paul throws down this hammer:  ”have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; but humbled himself and became obedient to death.” (Philippians 2:5-8)

Slam.

There goes me starting fights in drive-thrus.  There goes me getting all paranoid every time a group of snickering girls walks by.  There goes my need to validate myself and let others around me know how important my rights are.  There goes my self-centered sense of justice.  There goes entitlement.

So the truth is, if I’m to be perfectly honest- I probably needed those napkins (actually, depending on the food, I usually need a lot more than what they gave me).  And even if I didn’t, who cares?  The point isn’t what I’m owed, or what I’ve “earned”.  The point is that the man who had every right under the sun gave it all up and humbled Himself to become nothing- and now He’s calling you and me to do the same.

A Q & A In Time For V-Day: A Guest Post by Amanda Bast and Joseph Craven

February 14, 2012 in Guest Post, robshep.com with 38 Comments

I’m busy trying not to fail at planting a church. I asked some internet friends of mine if they’d guest post for me this week. For day two we are blessed to have Amanda Bast.

Amanda is Canadian. Her favorite food may or may not be Canadian Bacon. She likes wearing fake mustaches and she’s wicked awesome. Be warned, she is from a foreign land so it may be difficult to understand her writing accent. Enjoy.

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When Rob asked me to write a post for him for Valentine’s Day, I knew he was really asking for my expert relationship advice, but was too shy to come out and say it. I know that I have a gift that needs to be freely given, and I will live up to that responsibility. However, I am only one woman. I need a man’s opinion to truly make this advice respectable and unbiased. Naturally, I asked my Internet Worst Enemy THE Joseph Craven of The Greatest Blog of All Time to assist me in spreading wisdom across the Internet. Between the two of us, you’ve got yourself some stellar insight. When people heard of our quest, the response was overwhelming. So overwhelming, in fact, that we don’t have space to answer all of your questions today, but will surely answer them on one of our sites in the near future.

Q & A with J & A
Solving the quandaries of life and love

If side hugs are for friends, then are front hugs necessarily flirtatious? – D.A. Broughton

J: Side hugs are the handshake of the friendship world. Front hugs are the SECRET handshake. They don’t mean to be flirty. They just mean to be more awesome and special.

A: I once read an article in a Christian magazine that said that front hugs are inappropriate before marriage. Their suggestion for a replacement? Make him homemade granola. I’ve remembered that for all these years because it’s absolutely ridiculous. Front hugs are for friends. However. I did know a guy once whose front hugs were a little too friendly and he got dubbed “Greg McLinger”. Watch out for that. Front hugs are cool. Just don’t linger.

Are double weddings ever appropriate, especially if both the grooms are rednecks from southern states? – Heather Summers

A: No. No woman wants to share their wedding day with another woman and her man. Back off, get your own sandwich. I mean wedding.

J: Sure! It’s cheaper that way. Your parents will LOVE you for it.

Is a mini golf gift certificate an appropriate anniversary gift? Or is that too risqué, considering the game’s reputation? – Jared Hollier

A: First of all, I didn’t know mini golf had a risqué reputation. What is risqué about mini golf? The balls? The clubs? The holes? I mean, I can see the double entendre happening here, but in terms of being risqué? I’m not so sure. Wait, what was your question? Oh. Anniversary gift, eh? Depends what kind of anniversary. If it was the anniversary of when you went on your first date and you happened to go mini golfing, then sure. Go mini golfing. If it’s your wedding anniversary, it’s probably not a good idea. Nothing says “I promise to love you forever” like a game of putt putt. No. See, that’s not right at all. No mini golf. And a gift certificate implies you wouldn’t even take her yourself. Is she going to go with all of her lady friends? That’s weird, man. No mini golf. It’s not risqué. At least I don’t think it is. I’m just really confused right now. Buy her some flowers.

J: We all know why you would want to go mini-golfing: to defeat your wife in a competitive event. And that’s awesome. But word to the wise: mini-golf is a harsh, harsh mistress. You will NEVER know when she suddenly stops messing around and starts sinking that stupid windmill shot with her eyes closed. So for the sake of your pride, don’t risk it.

When is it acceptable to burp/fart in a gentleman caller’s presence? – Jessica Buttram

A: It’s not. Ever. At least that’s what my mother tells me. I however, do think that in certain situations it is completely acceptable (nay, encouraged) to burp in front of a gentleman caller in order to prove a point. The point being, “I can out-burp you even if you don’t believe it because I’m dainty and ladylike all of the time”. Sometimes it’s necessary.

J: Nah. It’s not. But it’s not going to stop us, right?

Have I already met my future husband? – Jamie Golden

A: You know, I think about this kind of thing often. When I see a stranger on the street I think, “Hmm. I wonder if I’ve ever seen that person before and just didn’t realize it.” And then that gets me thinking about how many people in the world have thought that same thought. And then that gets me thinking about how many people are thinking that same thought at that same exact moment. And then my head usually hurts and I have to lay down for a bit. Stop asking hard questions.

J: Just wait. In no time at all, he’s going to jump out and yell, “SURPRISE!”

What is the key to communication between men and women? – J.T. Adamson

A: Probably Twitter.

J: Faking interest. Also, Twitter.

What do you do when you’re holding hands with the girl you like and at the same time she’s holding another guy’s hand? – Stanton Martin

J: Well, I guess you finish your little game of Ring Around The Rosie or whatever.

A: Call up Jerry Springer and book an appearance. If he’s booked, try Maury.

If a girl says she wants to date you and then makes out with your roommate over spring break, does she really like you? – Stanton Martin

A: Not at all.

J: Yep. She just missed you, and he was the next best thing.

What does it really mean when a girl who has cheated on you dumps you because “you’re not a mature enough Christian?” – Stanton Martin

J: It means you’ve got some great blogging material.

A: I’m going to have to agree with Joseph on this one.

Okay…do you prefer boxers or briefs? Facial hair or no facial hair? Sensitive or confident? – Joy Cannis

J: In a woman? Umm….none of the above?

A: Both. YES. Both.

When is it appropriate to be inappropriate? – Burrill Strong

J: I guess if you go to some inappropriate couples retreat or something. Or maybe a conference on it. But places it is NOT cool? Public swimming pools, for starters. The produce section of the grocery store. Cubicles, generally.

A: Never. Not even in the privacy of your own home. You should always be appropriate, fully clothed and never sitting in close proximity to one another. Ever. I’m pretty sure that’s Biblical. Ask Rob. He’s a pastor.

What other questions about love do you have for Amanda and Joseph?

My First Week As A Church Planter

February 11, 2012 in robshep.com with 35 Comments

So this was my first week as a church planter. Here are some thoughts so far…

  • It jacks up your sleep. I have spent multiple nights tossing and turning because I was thinking about all of the things that I have to do.
  • I’m really excited about this! Even though I’ve worked long hours, lost sleep, and am in over my head, I’m really excited.
  • Apparently you need insurance to meet as a church. It’s not cheap.
  • I spent a lot of time meeting with people and learning about things I didn’t have a fat clue about. Did you know that you have to fill out paper work to become a legal church? I filed to become Incorporated, and I got an Employee Identification Number. I knew nothing about this before planting.
  • Lots of people are willing to help me! That’s been really exciting.
  • I was planning on starting in a house. I didn’t think I would get as good of a response to this as I got. I had to quickly find a location to meet in because no house could contain the amount of people that are interested in this.
  • I think that some of the people coming on Sunday night just want to see the freak show. In other words, they just want to check things out. I’m cool with that. I know that not everyone who comes will commit to plant this church with me, but I’m excited about the response I got.
  • People keep asking me who I want to reach. Apparently I am supposed to narrow it down to a race, an age group, and a specific type of person. I just want to reach people for Jesus. I want all races, age groups, and all types of people. I’ve been told that won’t work. I know that certain types of people will be drawn to my preaching, but I’m not willing to narrow down who we are trying to reach.
  • The name of the church is Next Level.  Apparently there are a lot of churches with this name. It wasn’t easy finding a website domain name. Oh and I bought a domain name. Website will be coming soon.
  • I had to buy a new phone. For the last seven years, I’ve been blessed with a work phone. Not any more. Thankfully I have the same number.
  • On my first day of the job I got in a car accident. It wasn’t my fault. I braked, and the car behind me didn’t. My entire office is in my car so my entire office went flying at my face. The hit was really loud. I thought that my trunk would be smashed open and that I’d have a trail of my office leaking all over Jefferson Avenue. When I pulled over, the only damage was that his license plate left a small dent and the numbers from his plate imprinted on my bumper.
  • If you are interested in learning about Next Level Church email me and I’ll send you the information about tomorrow’s meeting. You can email me at robshep.com@gmail.com.
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