Help! I’m A Dad.

So something phenomenal has happened to me over the last several days. You see, my wife is in California for five days, and the response by people has been universal.

Panic.

Freak Out.

Worry.

Concern.

Sympathy.

I’ve heard over and over again, “Are you going to be okay?”

Now, I am not offended by the question. I’m not calling out any of the amazing people who have shown concern for my situation. I greatly appreciate all the concern and offers for help.

This post is not directed at anyone. It’s an attempt to make you laugh…and think.

I’m highly analytical so I process things. When I hear the same comment over and over again I wonder, “What triggered that exact response?” It’s often a question of mere curiosity.

So many people have shown concern for my situation that I’ve been to wonder if I have a medical pharmacy condition.

Is solo daddying the equivalent of getting the bubonic plague?

I get it, dads are a little more aloof when it comes to parental responsibilities.

Our practices are a lot less conventional when it comes to overseeing our offspring.

I don’t have the joys of spending every day with them for hours. I get a morning, and a few hours in the evening. I know that puts me a huge disadvantage of knowing how to raise them. I know moms are awesome. My wife is amazing!!! Truly. She left me a detailed list and delivered it in a way where I felt respected. She said something along the lines of, “Babe, I know you don’t need this list, but it’s more for me than you.” Perfect delivery.

I needed the list.

It didn’t help matters that on the first morning alone I sent Hayden to school with his shirt on backwards. Dad fail. He dressed himself and I didn’t notice.

I did have them to school on time with their teeth brushed, breakfast in their bellies, the lunch made and packed, and we had time to color pictures of baby Moses being sent off into the water by his mom. This led to an amazing conversation about Moses and why they Egyptians were trying to kill them. On a side note we even got to talk about Joseph because somehow my daughter remembered that the reason Moses’ parents were in this situation was because the E-ians (her form of Egyptians) forgot about Joseph. Are you joking me. Dad win.

Oh, and I remembered to feed the dag um fishes. That wasn’t even on my amazing list left by wife.

I would never want to live life without my wife. She truly is amazing. But spending five days with my kids is not a death sentence. For them or for me. This isn’t my first rodeo.

I know I will make some mistakes because I don’t have the practice of the full routine of my twins. But I believe I know enough to avoid major collapses.

With all of this extra time with my kids I may come up with some creative activities that only a dad could think of.

But let’s not buy into the idea that when mom is alone with the kids it’s parenting and when dad is alone it’s babysitting.

I vow to be a dad that’s in the mix. There are a lot of things I don’t do as well as mom, but I feel I’m holding my own.

In fact so far both my kids have called me mom multiple times. I see that as a compliment.

Parenting is incredibly difficult. I would greatly struggle to do it without my wife, family, and friends. They are such a great support. But my goal is to break the stereotype that dads are knuckleheads who cannot handle parental responsibility.

I’m trying hard to not text my wife one single question about the kids or house while she is gone. I was tempted to break that because I didn’t know where a few dishes went after I unloaded the dishwasher. But I resisted. And I found a place for the dishes. It’s 100% the wrong place, but it’s not on the counter.

At the end of this five days I am hopeful that I will not only survive, but my kids will thrive. They will miss Mom because she’s full of awesome. But we will survive.

It will be okay.

And my kids will come out the other side of this five days still loving me.

 

 

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Rob Shepherd

I am the full-time husband of a wonderful woman! I love being married! We are proud parents to twins, Hayden and Reese. In my spare time I am the pastor of Next Level Church. I have a relationship with God and it is an adventure. Oh and I wrote a book. It's called Even If You Were Perfect Someone Would Crucify You.

3 Comments

  1. mim Shepherd
    October 13, 2016

    Bravo Rob! I’m proud that you are an active co-parent versus a baby-sitter. Even though mom often has the major role in chidcare, it is surprisingly different when Dad is out of the home for an extended time, as well. Tip: Do Monica a favor and make a note as to where you stashed the dishes. Don’t assume she will find them easily. Gender difference: men often have trouble finding things that are in plain sight, but when it comes to putting things away, they can stash things in the most unlikely places that a woman might consider.

    Reply
  2. October 14, 2016

    You are simply hilarious! How do you do it?

    Reply
  3. Karen
    October 17, 2016

    How did I miss this blog? Hilarious!

    Reply

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