Today I am in the ATL for the Catalyst Conference. This is my 11th year. I love this conference!
One of the things that I love is that each year I not only get challenged to be a better leader and a better Christian, I also get the chance to run into some of the people that I really look up to.
People like Jon Acuff.
Now even though I enjoy running into these people I also hate it because my nerves take over and I have been known to yell out random stupid things that leave me feeling embarrassed and the person running for protective custody.
If you follow this blog then you know I’m random. I have a random sense of humor and my mind jumps all over the place. You put that thing in a stressful situation and you get AWKWARD!
Well, if I do get the chance to run into Jon Acuff I hope that my brain doesn’t force my mouth to say the following things…
- “Pull my finger.”
- “TICKLE FIGHT!” I think it’s really funny to hear grown adults talk about a tickle fight. Grown ups just don’t tickle other grown ups. Now if you know me then you know that I’m joking about tickle fights. I don’t have them. But if you don’t know me and I yell this at you then you go straight into ninja kicking me in the throat.
- “Sign my chest?” Followed by…
- “I don’t have a Sharpie.” I don’t ever want anyone to see my chest yet alone sign it. It’s just that it seems to be something that fans say to people they look up to. My random brain may go there. I hope not! Dear God, please don’t let me get so nervous that I show Jon Acuff my nips!
- “Good game!” accompanied by a swift swat on the tush.
- “So what happened with Dave Ramsey?” Jon used to work at Dave Ramsey and even though everyone is curious to what happened this is a sure fire way to make him not talk to me.
- “Boxers or briefs?”
- “REMEMBER Me.”
- “I really like your Twitter” Let’s just be honest, Twitter is awesome but it’s a name that provides it’s own inappropriate but not really jokes. I do like following Jon on Twitter but I don’t want to talk about his Twitter.
- “I love DeBarge too!” I’ve seen Jon Tweet about his love for the 80’s band DeBarge. I just don’t want to come off like I’m trying to hard. This would be trying to hard.
- “You just posted via Facebook about joining LinkedIn, so can you explain to me what LinkedIn is?” No one knows this answer. Not even Jon Acuff.
- “Does this make me look fat?”
- “What does the fox say?”
The truth is that I think I’m over saying dumb things to people I look up to. It hasn’t happened in a few years.
I want to be myself.
I want to find a way to not make it all about me. You see my problem is that I so want the Jon Acuff’s of the world to like me that it causes me to try too hard.
My identity can way too easily get wrapped up in what someone I look up to says to me or doesn’t say to me. I can become consumed with showing other people who I’ve met so that it makes me look special.
Not any more.
If I get a chance to talk to Jon I want to find a way to encourage him without sounding like I’m sucking up. I am really tempted to bring him a container of queso because he once Tweeted that “queso is the 6th Love Language.” I’m just not sure pulling out melted cheese from my pocket leaves a great impression. Even if it was really good queso.
I want to give more than I get. Jon’s already blessed my life with his writing. I don’t need anything from him.
I hope to talk to Jon Acuff, but my day won’t be ruined if I don’t. You see, I’m loved by Jesus and He knows my name. I don’t have to impress Him. He’s cool with my awkwardness.
I still hope that I don’t blurt out to Jon something crazy like, “Can we full frontal hug?”
Who is one person that you look up to that you’d like to meet in person one day?