A lot of people have a bucket list. That is a list of things that they want to do before they die. I have an unbucket list. That is a list of things that I hope never happen to me before I die. For example…
- Get a hemorrhoid.
- Walk into one of the smoke rooms in the airport. That room looks like the opposite of a good time to me.
- Throw up. I’ve mentioned this before but I’ve never thrown up and I hope to die before I do. Not that I hope to die soon…I just hope that I die at an old age and maintain my virgin hugging a toilet status.
- Pass a kidney stone.
- Own a cat.
- Go camping for a week. Some people like camping. Some people are also crazy. I don’t get enough vacation days to spend a week pretending to be homeless. No offense to any homeless people that might read this.
- Sit through a Twilight movie marathon.
- Go completely bald.
- Poop out of my mouth. A nurse in my Community Group told me that this happened to one of her patients. They were so backed up that it came projectile out their mouth. I want to wipe my mouth out with toilet paper just thinking about this. Gag nasty.
- Get stung by a bee. I don’t know how I slipped out of this one but I would like to keep this record going.
- Get a cavity. 33 years and I’m going strong with 0 cavities.
- Eat a Lima Bean. I have blogged about this before. Short story is I saw my sister puke after she ate a plateful. From that moment on I vowed to never eat those vile beans.
- Live in a van down by the river.
What about you? What’s on your unbucket list?